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Monday, 21 December 2020

SHE PAID FOR EVERYTHING IN CASH FOR YEARS, AND NOW WE KNOW WHY

Anna Delvey was known by the New York social scene to be one of those mysterious Soho socialites that everyone knew, but none knew where she came from. Accepted into the party community as ‘one of them’, this Russian-German woman did something that shocked everyone who thought they knew her.

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Have You Ever

She partied with them, went to high-end restaurants, slept in hotel rooms and traveled abroad with friends she met in New York City. But while she paid in cash and gave $100 bills as tips to waiters, hotel crews and drivers, no one suspected the Russian-German heiress. When people started asking questions, the truth came out, and it wasn't what they thought. 

Keep Reading to Find Out the Truth about the Society Woman from Soho >>>

The Mystery Woman

Anna Delvey was yet another heiress. The whole social scene knew that she came from a high-end family with a lot of money, as she had a lot of lavish experiences to prove her wealth.

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She was simply seen as just another super rich young woman, no one expecting anything out of the ordinary from her - which is why the truth is so strange.

An Heiress of Wealth

She lived in hotel rooms in all of Soho. This would seem odd at first, and may have already sparked some curiosity from some people, though since she travelled and partied a lot, it made sense that she would stay in hotels in between going to her home country to renew her visa. In her Soho Hotel suite at Howard street, the story begins.

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The hotel knew her too, knowing how high up she was in the social scene, they never once asked for her credit card. She was constantly out and out and seen at all the popular parties, so she wouldn’t be missed if they needed to find her.

High Life Living

Anna Delvey flashed her cash around freely, always handing out $100 bills as casual tips in all the events. She was regularly seen wearing luxury designer clothes and definitely looked and acted the part. Soon after staying in the Soho Hotel, she made friends with the concierge, Neffatari Davis, whom she called ‘Neff.’

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Neff was curious about the young rich girl that was to be staying at the hotel for a long month - unusual for guests to stay this long at such an expensive hotel. Again, Anna threw the $100 around like nothing, often giving many tips to Neff.

A Soho Social Star

Of course Neff expected nothing more to Anna than being another Soho socialite that she often sees come through the hotel. Neff herself found benefit in her friendship with Anna, as she was aiming to get her cinematography career up and running with the help of all of Anna’s connections.

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Anna knew the town already - the best food, drinks, bartenders and waiters. What was curious was that she tried very hard to make a connection with Neff by asking always for her recommendations for these things.

Friendly Feeling

So Anna and Neff became good friends, they got closer and shared more time together the longer that Anna stayed in the hotel. What Neff didn’t realize was how much danger she was actually putting herself in.

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Neff explained about her relationship to Anna, “You just sit there and listen, because that’s your concierge life.” She was used to being friendly with guests, but didn’t usually stay in the friendship kind of relationship outside of her working hours. The two ended up so close that they regularly went out together.

$100 Tips

As mentioned above, Anna loved to give tips, and was well known for being an extra generous tipper, giving so many people $100 bills daily.

“People would fight to take her packages upstairs,” Neff said, “Fight, because you knew you were getting $100.”

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She paid for everything that she did and consumed in cash - and only $100 notes. No one asked about this behavior, and really just assumed it was part of her ultura lavish existence as a wealthy young girl having fun and showing off how much money she had.

Party Princess

“She gave to everyone,” Neff recalled about their time together, “Drivers, $100 cash. Meals… You know how you reach for your credit card? She wouldn’t let me.” Neff also shared that Anna hired her own personal coach and trainer for $4,5000.

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Her European accent and money sharing habit made it clear how wealthy she was. Most people assumed - through either gossip that others spread, or that she shared - that she was an heiress to a very wealthy European family.

Social Butterfly

She made connections with everyone. Befriending not only Neff, but a whole host of celebrity names who she took out to expensive dinners at the famed Le Coucou French restaurant. She dined with celebrities, athletes, CEO’s and artists.

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Neff later remarks about one evening she spent out to dinner seated next to Macaulay Culkin, “I had so many questions. And he was right there. But they were talking about, like, friend stuff. So I never got the chance to be like, ‘So, you the godfather to Michael Jackson’s kids?’”

People Person

She was certainly a people person. Anna really did win them over and find it easy to make all of these connections. Even with how things turned out, one fact remains true - she had an impressive way with social situations.

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Her biggest skill seemed to be the fact that she was such a people person. Someone who met Anna at a event during Paris Fashion Week remembers how one minute she introduced herself, and the next, she was chatting to his friends as of they were hers.

Knew Where To Go

It was said of Anna “She managed to be in all the sort of right places.” She would jet-set around the world, attending all of the biggest events and parties and really just made herself at home in a crowd full of strangers.

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Someone else who knew Anna states “there are so many trust-fund kids running around… everyone is your best friend, and you don’t know a thing about anyone.” Normally, people don’t bother. Though with Anna, when more and more started to unravel and not quite add up, people began to wonder just where she came from.

A New Connection

Michael Xufu Huang and Anna met an an art show and developed a connection instantly. He is an art collector and museum founder, and their shared love of art brought them so close that they travelled to Italy together.

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Michael was asked by Anna to put the travel expenses on his credit card, where will will pay him back later. He didn’t think twice and assumed it was in good faith… but was it?

Venice Adventure

Even though Michael noticed how strange it was that Anna paid for everything with cash, it didn’t spark anything in him enough to worry. Though what happened when the trip ended and it was time to pay him back?

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Apparently Anna ‘forgot all about it.’ Michael accepted that excuse easily. When you’re that rich, a trip like that costs nothing, and it’s an easy thing to forget about a small expense like that.

The Birthday Girl

We wouldn’t have expected anything different when it came to Anna’s birthday. Of course, she threw herself a crazy big party. All of her rich and famous contacts came along to celebrate with her lavishly organized event.

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Michael, her travel friend, went to the party. What happened after the big occasion shocked him however, as he received a message that she never paid her bill, and they asked for her contact details. From there… his suspicions grew.

Who is She?

People really began now to wonder where she really came from, and which gossip to believe. It seemed that many different threads of gossip were spread about how she got so wealthy and who is funding her expensive life.

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It was rumored that her dad was a Russian diplomat. It was assumed she had a long line of family money she was sitting on. Someone mentioned that her dad was actually an oil-industry titan. It seemed that no one really knew the real story.

More Rumors

Another story was that Anna Delvey’s family got their fortune from antique trading in Germany. All of these theories were spread and created even more intrigue about this woman. And none of them ended up being correct.

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Anna loved that she got more attention and fame from these speculations. There was this air of mystery about her that made even more people want to get to know her. She made even more connections and enjoyed the fame.

Her Dream

She wasn’t just a party princess, Anna also expressed to many people close to her that she had an ultimately goal of creating an exclusive club featuring high end art, which she would name The Anna Delvey Foundation (ADF). She scouted spots, hired a creative director, and started to make plans to really make it happen.

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A location popped up in her search that seemed perfect, and it was 281 Park Avenue South that would need a redevelopment to make it her space. What she needed was someone to help her, however. She needed loans. Millions of dollars worth of loans. But wasn’t she an heiress?

Making Promises

Anna connected with a financial partner to help purchase the location because she said that her “personal assets, which are quite substantial, are located outside the US, some of them in a trust with UBS outside the US.” Hence, needing someone inside the US to do this for her.

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She made the promise to pay back and that she would be respectful and professional in purchasing the location and getting the funds to them as soon as possible.

Her Guests

She decided to try and help herself with fundraising efforts of throwing dinner events and inviting wealthy guests to attend. She got close to the famous Martin Shkreli, who was well known in the pharmaceutical industry for raising the cost of important medication from $13 to $750. Later, he was convicted for fraud and is actually now in prison.

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Shkreli remarks about Anna, “[she] did seem to be a popular ‘woman about town’ who knew everyone… Even though I was nationally known, I felt like a computer geek next to her.” Anna seemed to have picked up some skills from this man, as you’ll later begin to learn.

Obstacles

Her friend Neff explains about her plans to open the foundation, “She was always on the phone with lawyers… They were always toning her down. Like, ‘Anna, you’re trying to make something that’s worth this much be worth that much, and that’s just not how it works.’ ”

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When the two friends went to dinner one night and Anna tried to pay with about 12 different credit cards, it became clear to Neff that she was having some financial issues.

Accommodation Drama

It seemed that Anna was starting to slip in her lavish cash flow floating through life. As she hadn’t yet paid for her room at the 11 Howard Hotel, and since they didn’t have a card on file for her, greater issues came up.

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Initially, the hotel overlooked Anna’s failure to submit a card, treating her as a valued guest. The hotel owner was the owner of the location she was attempting to purchase, so she also was connected as a prospective ‘client’ as well. This is why the hotel decided to accept a wire transfer to pay for her room. After over a month however, no payment from her was received.

Too Much

Since Neff was good friends with Anna, the hotel requested that she deal with the issue. The total amount owing was over $30,000. Neff trusted that Anna could pay, and went to speak with Anna about the issue.

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Anna’s response was that the transfer was on it’s way. That was the empty promise. From here, things really started to crumble for Anna Delvey. There was no going back.

Finally

It was a relief when the hotel did get a wire transfer for $30,000 for her room, so Anna resumed her social status as before and assumed all was fine.

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Though since she continued to stay in the hotel, they required a credit card moving forward, and her bills were steadily rising. They demanded to have her put forward a card that was valid and even threatened to change her room code and throw her out.

Getting Serious

She was locked out when they changed the code and threw her out. Anna was furious, saying that she was being treated like a common person and that she did not deserve such terrible treatment. And then, she pulled out a trick that she learnt from the man mentioned earlier, Martin Shkreli.

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She threatened them back, telling everyone who worked at the hotel and manage the establishment that she would purchase the website domains of each of their names so that they had to pay her to get them back. While she left that treat steeping, she took off on a vacation to Morocco with her personal trainer friend, and a videographer Rachel Williams.

Morocco Madness

The trip didn’t go smoothly at all. The trainer got very sick with food poisoning and decided to return to the US early. The trainer then got a call from Anna who was upset and distraught that her credit card wasn’t working.

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The hotel manager of where she was staying threatened her with calling the police, and she pleaded desperately with her trainer friend to let her use her credit card. This one didn’t go through, and another card didn’t also, so the hotel thought perhaps the issue was their own, rather than the cards.

Another Home

Upon her return to the US, Anna found another hotel to move into. A pattern was starting to show, as she still couldn’t provide a credit card that worked, and ended up in over $11,000 debt in this new place. Her belongings were taken and she was kicked out. Things were starting to get serious.

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The same thing happened yet again when she went to one more hotel, though this time she was thrown out after only a few days. In her desperation, she asked her trainer friend to stay at her place, and she agreed.

Morocco Bills?

If you’re wondering how she ended up settling the bill for the Morocco hotel, it was because her videographer friend took the whopping $62,000 bill on her American Express credit card.

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The trainer friend then heard of what happened and was shocked and furious to hear that Rachel had to pay. This was when Anna began to really lose friends.

Welcome No More

So her trainer friend lost all trust, and immediately told Anna to leave her house. Anna left her laptop behind, which could have been a move to try to come back again and stay, though her once-friend didn’t fall for it, and left it at the front desk of the residence for Anna to pick up.

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When Anna went to get her laptop, she stayed in the lobby of the building demanding to see her trainer friend. She would wait until she arrived. What would she do?

The Intervention

Anna didn’t get to confront her ex-friend, and she was very lost. She couldn’t find a hotel that would let her stay, and even resorted to asking one of her lawyers to stay at his house, to which he refused.

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The lawyer suspected something was really not right here, and got in touch with Anna’s trainer. She invited Anna to a restaurant for dinner, which Anna had no idea of the intervention that was waiting for her. Enter all of the people who she owed money to.

Pay it Back

The harsh group intervention was a taste of the trouble Anna was in. Tens of thousands of dollars is what she took from her ‘colleagues’ and ‘friends’, and they wanted to know where it was. She claimed that she would have all the money to settle the debts once her lease was signed for that Foundation she was hoping to create.

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But they saw through the act. That’s when the group told her that the location was rented to someone else. She still tried to make up reasons and excuses for herself. They weren’t going to buy it any longer.

The Ultimate Con

It all started to fall apart. The gig was up, and people began to spread the news by writing articles about her calling Anna a ‘wannabe socialite.’ She reacted by getting hurt and denying all of the rumors, saying it’s all a lie.

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She remained true to her story that she had all the money, but couldn’t access it. Rachel didn’t believe Anna, and took matters into her own hands, emailing the New York District Attorney’s Office and let them know that she suspected Anna was a con-artist. The authorities looked into it, and immediately replied that they were quite sure she was too.

Arrested

First she was arrested for her outstanding bills from all of the hotels. The newspapers spread the news, though Anna managed to find a lawyer and get bail. How she managed to go free is still unclear. One thing was for sure - she’s skilled at what she does.

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Not long after she went back to her old, journeying to California where she was arrested instantly in Malibu. She returned by force to New York, she where faced what was explained as “six counts of grand larceny and attempted grand larceny, in addition to theft of services.”

The Real Anna

As it turns out, Anna Delvey was never her real name. Her real name is Anna Sorokin and she was born in 1991 in Russia. She’s no German heiress, her family only moved to Germany in 2007.

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Her roots lie not in a wealthy family, but an average working class family that definitely did not give her any ‘trust fund.’ She’s facing a possible 15 years in prison.

Her Plea

Using her talents, she’s still attempting to bargain her way out of her full crimes. She’s offered a plea deal to the judge or 3 years or less imprisonment. The judge didn’t buy it, and rejected her plea.

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The counter offer from the judge was 3-9 years, though Anna boldly rejected the deal, choosing to go to trial instead. Where it goes from here is uncertain, though it’s not looking good for her.

Any Remorse?

The judge of this case, Justice Diane Kiesel, remarks that Anna clearly shows no remorse for her atrocities. She definitely didn’t feel that less than 3 years would be fair to all of the people she had basically stolen from and the crimes that she had committed.

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Since the judges of the case are willing to put her into prison for up to 15 years, luck is no longer on Anna’s side. She has definitely fallen from grace.

Netflix Series

That’s right. As Anna waits for her trial, there’s news of a upcoming series of Netflix about her life. Apparently Anna seems more interested in who will play her in the series, rather than take responsibility for her crimes.

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Anna even commented about the prison, “this place is not that bad at all actually… People seem to think it’s horrible, but I see it as like, this sociological experiment.” Anna’s lawyer has confirmed that she’s doing quite fine behind bars.

Still a Social Butterfly

Her lawyer goes on to say that Anna is “like a unicorn in there.” Just as she did before, she’s easily made friends, and loves to connect with such intriguing people - especially the more serious inmates.

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“This one girl, she’s been stealing other people’s identities. I didn’t realize it was so easy,” Anna has said. This points to a possible direction for her future as a con-artist, as learning these tricks in prison can easily lead her back to trouble.

The Foundation

Of course, Anna’s dream foundation has not happened. It was true that another lease was taken out, so now a Swedish photography organization named Fotografiska has taken residence.

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Apparently Anna still wishes for the foundation to be made, and probably gets a sense that it would actually be a popular place especially now that she’s become even more famous for her crimes.

How She Pulled it Off

For a relatively young woman, she pulled off some impressive scams on many banks, hotels, professionals and personal ‘friends.’ Experts believe that Anna’s total amount that she illegally obtained and used was $275,000. Falsified documents claiming that she had European money were one way she got loans from the banks. Where did she learn to do that? It’s suspected she’s got friends who schooled her in the art on conning for money.

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Another way she got so much money was using bad checks, and taking out credit that she had no intention of paying back. Did she consider that it would catch up with her? Or maybe she wanted to create her arts club so it could make her some money to pay it all back.  

She Had Them All Fooled

Anna really did make everyone believe that she was who she said. She played the part well, she managed to do all the right moves in the ‘con’ of banks and establishments, and she had people who trusted her as a friend.

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As impressive as all of that is, she couldn’t have kept it up for ever, and now justice is now being served. We doubt any of the friends and connections she made on the outside are continuing - especially since most of them are people she owes money to.

Mail Me

That doesn’t take away from her star status though. Of course, all of the headlines and the gossip about what happened has now spread and made her name even more legendary. Her Instagram is still active - so obviously someone is still connected for her.

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She’s ever the social butterfly still, asking people to write to her even while she’s in prison. What will become of her after she’s finished her sentence and there’s been more exposure with the netflix series? What more tricks will she learn on the inside? Time will tell.

Monday, 7 September 2020

Missing person's dead body found by psychic

 “I have spent my life trying to help people and I often have had to defend myself and what I do to sceptics. Now I feel that I don't have to do that any more." - Kelvin Cruickshank





In his 20-plus years as a psychic medium, Kelvin Cruickshank has had some extremely emotional experiences passing on messages from spirits to their loved ones.

But nothing surpasses the information he was able to give the family of missing Hamilton man Raymond "Curly" Stirling last month. Thanks to details he received "from the other side", Kelvin worked out on a map where he thought Curly's body was and forwarded what he knew to his family.

Using that information, Glenn found his dad.

"From what I understand, this is the first time in New Zealand that a medium has been able to help find a body," says Kelvin.

"I am just so pleased for Glenn, his wife Jo and the rest of the family that they know what happened to their dad and have been able to farewell him. It's been very emotional for everyone involved, but I am so glad I could do my bit."

The former Sensing Murder medium has been asked many times for help to find missing people, but while the information he provided had led to new leads in some cases, it hadn't resulted in anyone being located.

"Sometimes people in spirit don't want to be found. Other times, living people don't want to listen to what I say and the details I have passed on haven't been followed up, which is so frustrating. But this time, Curly really wanted to be found, and Glenn and Jo were open to what I had to say, and there was a good outcome to a terrible situation."



Due to stressful experiences in the past, Kelvin decided a while ago not to get involved in missing person cases. So when he was told shortly before one of his Soul Food shows in Hamilton last month that someone related to a missing person was in the audience, he decided to let them know he couldn't do anything.

"I went out and said I knew there was someone there who was missing a family member, but I was sorry, I couldn't help, I wasn't doing that sort of thing. And then Curly went and proved me wrong – he was standing there, in spirit, with me, telling me I was supposed to help his family."

His daughter-in-law Jo Stirling wasn't really into psychics, but had come to the show "in desperation".
Curly (84), who had mild dementia, had disappeared from his Hamilton home on January 15 and extensive searches, mostly focused on the nearby Waikato River, had failed to find any trace of him.

Kelvin says Curly and his wife Margaret, who had passed away three years earlier, both came to him in spirit during the show, and Curly said he was "not too far from home".

Afterwards, Kelvin met with Jo for a quick chat. "I couldn't tell her exactly where he was, but I did know that he was not where they had been looking. He was beside a trickle of water, but not in the river.

Kelvin marked two areas on a map and sent it to Glenn.
Kelvin marked two areas on a map and sent it to Glenn.

"I went home to the Bay of Islands the next day and I couldn't stop thinking about Curly," says dad-of-two Kelvin.

"That night, I couldn't sleep – it was Curly keeping me awake, standing by my bed. He wanted me to find him, so I got up early and I went on Google Maps, looking at the area around his home until I found what felt like a hot spot.

"I had Curly standing beside me going, 'That's it, that's it.'"

Kelvin marked two areas on a map and sent it to Jo, and at the next available opportunity, Glenn searched Tauhara Park, the area of dense bush Kelvin had pinpointed as being Curly's most likely location.

It is around 1.5km from Curly's home and in the opposite direction to the river. Searchers had been there, but not gone down into a steep gully. After combing the area for three hours, Glenn found Curly near a stream in the gully.

"When I got the phone call from Jo to say a body had been found, I burst into tears," Kelvin admits.

"I was happy for the family that they had his body back, but it was so sad they'd lost their dad."

Later, Kelvin drove to Hamilton to see Jo and Glenn.

"I just wanted to give them a hug. They are the most amazing couple and I really feel for them. I was so grateful to them for having faith in me."

He went with the Stirlings to the spot where dad-of-five Curly had been found, intending to say a karakia, or prayer. "But then I said to Glenn, 'Look, your dad is here and he is saying he is not into all of that, he's telling me not to bother doing it.' Glenn said that was exactly what his dad was like – he wouldn't have wanted me doing a prayer.

"While we were standing there, Curly also said, 'Where are my flowers, you tight buggers?' Glenn and Jo started laughing, then crying, when I told them that. In the car on the way to meet me, they had discussed stopping to get some flowers to put on the site but they didn't because they didn't want to be late."

Many people were surprised that Curly ended up in Tauhara Park because it was still quite a trek from his home. But Kelvin was able to fill the Stirlings in on what he believes happened.

"What he showed me was that he woke up early in the morning and because he had a bit of dementia, he'd got into the mindset that he was a young, fit fella again. He got up and made his bed with military precision, which was one of the things that confused his family – they couldn't work out how his bed had been made so perfectly because he didn't usually do it like that; his wife Margaret had always made the bed."



The military reference initially confused Jo, but she later found out that Curly had been in the territorials as a young man.

"So he reverted to being young and then he toddled off, leaving his walking stick behind, looking for the love of his life, his Margaret. He was confused and he got disoriented. He crossed the road – he wasn't seen because it was the crack of dawn – and he ended up walking quite a way and going down a walkway into the bush.

He could see some houses across the valley and he headed that way because he thought she was there. But sadly, he fell down a bank and passed away.
"It was a long way for him to go, but one thing I have learned as a medium is to expect the unexpected."

Kelvin has only recently returned to doing Soul Food shows around New Zealand after hurting his back in an accident last year. 

"I had been rebuilding my boat and I slipped and fell off it, and exploded the discs on my back, crushing my nervous system," he says. 

"It shut down all of one leg and part of the other, and it was starting to affect my organs. I needed surgery and was out of action for a few months."



He's slowly on the mend. He's got a new book, Reflections, out next month and is working on a two-day seminar. In the meantime, he's been fielding requests from people around the world – he's had calls from Canada, the US and the UK – who want his help locating missing loved ones after hearing about his success in finding Curly.

"If I am meant to help, I will," he says.

Kelvin adds that helping to find Curly is "huge for me. I have spent my life trying to help people and I often have had to defend myself and what I do to sceptics. Now I feel that I don't have to do that any more."

Jo says she is pleased Kelvin is getting the recognition he deserves.

"He is a truly gifted man and we are forever grateful for his guidance that enabled us to find Curly, but also for the support he has given Glenn, myself and our kids since."

Friday, 4 September 2020

Great pyramid's dimensions match the planet Earth's


The Great Pyramid of Giza is an amazing construction in terms of size, precision and dimensions. We still do not know how did they manage to build it; why was it so precise in terms of orientation and why did they choose the dimensions they did. The great pyramid is tangible evidence of lost or undisclosed ancient knowledge.

The pyramid weighs 6 million tons and has a footprint of thirteen acres. Over 200 million block of stones where used in its construction (with an average weight of 2 tons). Numerous blocks weighing 70 tons where raised 300 feet (91 meters) above ground during construction. It’s more than 750 feet (229 meters) along each side and 481 feet (146.6 meters) tall. 

What makes the pyramid really intriguing is its precision. It is targeted on true north within 3/60 of a single degree.  Such precision is impossible with the technology that the ancient Egyptians supposedly had (according to mainstream history). Why did the Egyptians go to such lengths to achieve such levels of precision? What was the objective? Probably this precision is related to the true purpose behind the construction of pyramids.


The pyramid also incorporates the dimensions of our planet. If we take the height of the great pyramid and multiple it by 43,200 we get the Earth´s polar radius. If we measure the base perimeter of the pyramid and again multiply by 43,200 we get the Earth´s equatorial circumference. 43,2000 is not a random number but derived from the Earth’s motion; specifically from the Earth’s wobble motion. The Earth wobbles on its axis at a rate of 1 degree every 72 years. If we multiply 72 by 600 we get 43,200. The selection of these numbers is surely not a coincidence. How did the Egyptians know these dimensions and why did they incorporate them in the great pyramid?


The only logical explanation is that the pyramid was built based on the knowledge of a lost or hidden civilization. Maybe mainstream history is not revealing the true magnitude of the ancient Egyptian civilization.

Thursday, 2 April 2020

Do dead people watch us? Yes says medium


Concetta Bertoldi, known as a successful medium who communicates with spirits who have crossed over, answers some of the most common questions about what happens on the "other side"  in her book, "Do Dead People Watch You Shower?" An excerpt.

Intro: I know you’ve got a lot of questions — after all, that’s the reason you picked up this book, right? But before I get to those, I thought it might be good for you to know who it is who you’re talking with, so I’d like to tell you a little bit about myself.

First of all, let’s get a few things out in the open. I consider myself to be a spiritual person. But that does not mean that I am a perfect person. I have plenty of faults. I can swear like a sailor, I enjoy a good dirty joke, and if the truth be told, I don’t get along with my mother-in-law. From the moment I first got together with her son, in fact, she’s been a real rock in my underwear. A real pickle-puss. But don’t get me started. Aside from the usual number of human flaws, I think I’m pretty easy to get along with. Just your average Jersey girl who talks to the dead.

I’m a pretty upfront person, but I haven’t always been open about that last bit. I’ve accepted it now, sort of grown into it, but especially when I was younger that’s the last thing I’d want anyone to know about me. I haven’t been public all that long — only for the past ten years, and that took a lot of prodding (I’ll say more about that later) — but now that I realize how important it is, I’ve become a lot more willing to talk about this ability and the incredible things I’ve learned from it.

As soon as I made the decision to go public with my unusual talent, the questions came in full force. There have been serious questions, silly questions, sad questions, snarky questions. I answered them truthfully, patiently ... and repeatedly. This book is an attempt to answer all of the questions I have been asked over the years, and finally put an end to that one question I am asked most: When are you going to write a book?

In the past I would respond as any severely dyslexic girl who didn’t know how to type would — I changed the subject. But after a while I realized it might be easier to just write the damn book than to keep fielding the damn question. So you can stop asking me now, all right.

Within these pages I am going to be as upfront and open as possible. I will try to keep the cursing, and mentions of my mother-in-law problem to a minimum. But you should know that it may come up from time to time. Sometimes even a rock in the underwear can be a good teacher — even if the lesson is that you can’t please everyone! I hope I can bring some understanding to the subject of what happens to us all when we pass over from the land of the living to the Other Side. I hope some of what you’ll find in these pages may be comforting to you. And if I can make someone smile, so much the better!

What is the difference between a medium and a psychic? A medium is a psychic, but a psychic is not necessarily a medium. Someone who is just psychic can give you a prediction, but they can’t tell you where or who they got it from. I (and other true mediums) not only can tell you what is going on and what will happen, but we can tell you who on the Other Side is bringing the message. I’m the whole package, baby!

When did you first start talking with dead people? I couldn’t say exactly, but certainly from the time I was a small girl. It wasn’t really having a conversation, I just knew something. I understood so little at that time, I had no one to explain to me what this ‘knowing’ was. 

One of my very earliest memories of this was walking home one day when I was about nine years old (this wasn’t the first, but one that I strongly recall) and ‘realizing’ that my older brother was going to be taken from us at an early age. As I was walking into my backyard, I ‘heard’ the Other Side (I didn’t know at the time that’s who was communicating with me) tell me this. I can’t recall the exact words I heard. I’m not even sure it was a full sentence. Nevertheless, I knew what they meant, and I remember it like it was yesterday.

Other messages like this one came to me at other times. I was told, for example, that I would never in this lifetime have children of my own. I was also told that in a past lifetime my soul had been married to my father’s soul — one of the reasons, I’m sure, why I completely adored my father in this lifetime. The effect of these messages, for me, was one of grounding me. Even if I didn’t like what I’d been told, even if, like anyone would, I fought against losing my brother and against whatever it was that decided I would not have children, the fact that I’d been told these things in advance eventually helped me gain perspective.

What happens to us when we die? People have fears. They’ve heard about going into the Light and want to know, does it hurt walking into the Light? Do we lose our memories? Is everything there that we had before?
What I’ve heard from the souls on the Other Side is that when we die we leave either through our feet or the top of the head. On this side I’ve heard of the “silver cord” that supposedly attaches us to life here, but no one from over there has ever mentioned this to me. It’s hard to describe exactly how we are moving — it’s a bit like floating, a bit like walking, a bit like flying, it’s a ‘gravitating’ toward the Light. There’s a feeling of anticipation — maybe a little fear, but more anticipation.

Nothing at all is forgotten. In fact, whereas now we can only remember some highlights of our past, over there we remember every single moment and detail. Everything we knew, loved, or experienced.

When we die, within seconds of entering the Light we experience a knowing. We get a fast-forward review of our lives and see the whole domino effect of all of our actions. We feel everything we made someone else feel — the joy, the hurt. We see and understand the whole domino effect of all our actions and of every interaction we had with anyone. And we know and understand what our purpose was in this lifetime.
Have You Ever talks to Concetta Bertoldi about talking to the dead.

There’s a period of transition, a time we get to reflect on our life — I don’t feel that this is standardized in any way; it’s different from individual to individual. For many there may be a necessary period of healing any physical or emotional issues, especially forgiving ourselves for anything we did while living that we don’t feel proud of, that may have hurt someone, before we are able to interact with this side, the living, again. At all times we are given help in healing what we “shoulda woulda coulda” done in our lives here.” Sometimes there is sadness at what we wish we could have done differently. We’re encouraged to heal any anger or guilt. But there is also what we would think of as physical healing — even though it’s not really physical, it’s spiritual. I can’t tell you how often someone who has been sick when they died, maybe even have been missing parts of their body, have told me in spirit that they are completely healed and healthy, and completely whole. Someone who may have had great difficulty walking or even standing on this side at the end of their life will tell me that over there they are dancing.

The true beauty of the Light is that it is total harmony. Here, we can spend a lifetime in the dark. We don’t know what we are doing or the effect we are having. But when we get over there, we get a clear view of what this side is all about.

What do we look like when we die? We no longer have any physical appearance. We’re pure energy. When I’m doing a reading, the dead do have ways of showing me some appearance that allows me to describe them to their loved one on this side, but to be honest, I don’t know how they do that.

What is there to do on the Other Side? There are so many dimensions, we have the choice of any kind of beauty we wish to experience. Whatever we loved is there — how could it be paradise otherwise? If we liked baseball on this side, we might choose to spend most of our time in a big beautiful baseball park, watching or playing our favorite game. If we liked to fish we can choose to be on a gorgeous, sparkling lake. If we liked the mountains, we could go skiing for as long as we want. If we liked music, we might be in a wonderful music hall. These dimensions are all created by God.
I was doing a reading for this woman once and I said, “Your husband is there with so-and-so and they are playing checkers.” She said, “No, they always played backgammon together.” OK, I’m not perfect — I always say this — but the point is that the game they enjoyed on this side, they still were playing on that side. I’ve had spirits tell me they are still enjoying their weekly card games, whatever!

Do dead people watch us shower? Does Grandma know I like to do that in bed?Sure they can! And Grandma certainly does … They see us in the bathroom and they see us in the bedroom! But who cares? They’re dead! Who’re they gonna tell anything?
Don’t freak out. The thing you need to remember is that they are not in the flesh — they remember the flesh, but it’s not of any concern to them any more. They’re not judging. It’s not like they’re going, “Whoa! Has she got a big butt!” or “If I was him, I’da shaved that!” or “Holy Moly! Did ya ever see such a big …” Well, you get the point. The dead are not “Peeping Toms” — they don’t get any special thrill out of “watching,” it’s not entertainment to them — that’s thinking in human terms. They just look at it like human nature, like we might see two animals going at it and just look at it as animal nature. Maybe we might smile, or even laugh. But it’s not judgment. We don’t expect a couple of dogs or squirrels to be embarrassed that we see them doing what they’re doing. Yes, the dead certainly do see us in the shower or making love, but it’s just like we might witness an ordinary act of human kindness. We don’t judge it. We just smile and think, “how beautiful.” They are just happy that you are experiencing love or maybe just one-night-stand pleasure. They are happy for you. The dead are not nearly as stuffy about sex — not even our dead Sicilian fathers!

And before you even ask the question — yes, they also see all our secret, sneaky behavior —they see us raiding the refrigerator and scarfing up the ice cream and the leftover lasagna when we’re supposed to be on a diet; they see us picking our nose when we can’t find a kleenex. Again, in their eyes, it’s just ordinary human behavior. No judgment. They also see us in the operating room and in the classroom, and at our holiday table. They enjoy with us all the events we celebrate in our life and they also walk us through our sorrows and heartaches.

Is it possible to ask the dead for a moment of privacy? 

Can we have a “Would you please avert your eyes, Grams?” moment with the Other Side? I hate to break it to you, but, no. Even if you said, “Don’t look,” that wouldn’t stop them. What about God? You never think about God looking, right? It’s the same thing. Does God ever stop looking? No. When your grandparents are over there, they are one with God. You can’t just turn that off or hide from it.

Do the dead have sex one the Other Side?
No! They are energy forms so they don’t have the same needs and desires of the flesh. They don’t make love, they don’t eat anything, and no, they don’t go to the bathroom. They’re in spirit form, not flesh. I know, you’re probably thinking, “No food? No sex? I’m not going!”

Is there such thing as a “dirty old ghost”?
Well I didn’t exactly say that the dead didn’t have a sense of humor about the body and being in the flesh. They may touch someone or push someone, just to show they can do it. I’ve twice had a spirit actually try to make love to me. Very strange, but not scary — of course I can’t speak for everyone on that count. But I’ve heard many stories about spirits touching someone. I had one client whose beach house down at the Jersey shore had a very playful resident ghost. He seemed to live in their shower and delighted in pressing up against anyone who used the shower — not every time, but often enough that the whole family was aware of it. When they had a guest at their beach house they’d get a kick out of it when their guest would use the shower. The person would come out of the bathroom with a weird look on their face saying something like, “You’ll never believe this, but …” and they’d all go, “We know. Charlie!!!”

The dead are just having some fun with us. They like to joke about the body. We’re in it, so we don’t always get the joke or think it’s funny. It’s a struggle here on earth, being in physical form. We have good days and bad days. But I think you all agree with me when I say that when it’s good, it can be pretty f---ing good!

Do the dead remember having sex? They certainly do remember!

And that reminds me of a story, a couple years ago, two women came to see me for a reading. They were old friends, either in their late 70s or early 80s and had made their appointments together. They both wanted to hear from their husbands, and without any problem, their husbands both came through. Of course they all knew each other and both husbands were joking around about their “date nights” which was really a euphemism for their night to have sex with their respective wives.

So the one husband is talking about Wednesday night and the other is talking about Friday night. The one mentioned a restaurant. I asked his wife, who was there for the reading, “what about this restaurant?” Turns out that this couple used to go to the same place a few nights a week. Everybody knew them there, and they knew them so well that they knew about “Wednesday night.” The waiter would always ask at the end of the meal, did they want any dessert, but then he’d catch himself and say, almost winking, oh, no, he knew they wouldn’t want dessert because he just remembered it was Wednesday and they’d want to get home! Her friend was laughing, until her own husband started talking about Friday nights and how she’d leave her hairnet on when they made love! So this got the first woman laughing, like, “At least I didn’t wear a hairnet when I had sex!” It was so funny, like they were doing a comedy routine together with their dead husbands!

Do the dead miss their bodies? I am under the impression that they don’t miss their bodies, but they remember the flesh as enjoyable. They remember eating, they remember having sex. But they have a sense of humor remembering their earthly desires and pleasures. In all honesty, it’s probably hard for most people to even relate to how it is there, because as spirit, we’re not even male or female. We’re completely asexual. We reincarnate as either gender because there are different lessons to be learned from each role and the spirit holds those memories. We’re so identified with male or female, whatever we are, even if we’d identify ourselves as gay or bisexual. It’s hard to get our head around, not having a body, not being either.

Another part of this is, during my readings, very often depressed or sad people will say that once they die they don’t want to come back. I hear it all the time, “I want to stay on the Other Side” or “I hope this is my last time around.” But once we’re there, something makes us come back into the flesh so that we can learn lessons. I believe that everyone’s ultimate goal is to become a spirit master or spirit guide and to be a divine spirit who is close to God. To do this we have to be worthy. In the soul form, there is nothing more important than being worthy and being close to God. On this side, we want to be married, to have kids, we want money, beauty. In the energy form, nothing physical matters any more; they only care about being close to God.

Do the dead inhabit old houses? That old myth is not really true — at least not in the way that it’s usually portrayed in scary movies and books. I know that sometimes souls are connected to places they love, but I don’t think it’s like that in most cases. Most of the time, the dead will be around their loved ones, wherever they may be, not attached to a particular house.

Why is it that we hear about the dead haunting a particular place?Sometimes a soul has a story to tell. For example, in historic places like a Civil War battlefield. Gettysburg is one of the most “haunted” places I’ve ever visited. There are just so many spirits there. In these cases, there is a story about an incomplete life being cut down. Our history books only tell the smallest part of the story. We will never understand the real experience. And sometimes the dead do linger in these places in order to tell their story.

In a way the souls here are “stuck.” They might not understand that it was their karma to die at that point, and might feel they’ve been prevented from completing their purpose. 

Think about it — when we’re stopped from doing something we want very badly to do, we get really frustrated. Maybe we feel it wasn’t our fault and we get caught up in making excuses, telling our story, so others will know it wasn’t our fault. In the case of these souls, if they would cross, on the Other Side, everything would be explained and they’d be encouraged to accept God’s love. But if they don’t cross and get their life review, and get perspective, they don’t have a clue. They literally are lost souls.
This really doesn’t happen a lot. If it happened every time someone was murdered there would be such a thick painful energy all around us. But where the story is important, some souls move on and some stay. In any case, they forgive the minute they go into the Light. In the Light there is no room for anything but forgiveness and love.

Are these souls who are stuck in “limbo”? How can a soul get out of limbo?As I understand it, limbo is a state of frustration due to not understanding. A soul does not understand what is expected of it, what it has done wrong, and cannot go forward; it can’t get to the next level in its spiritual development.

To escape limbo the soul must be willing to listen to and heed the spirit Master or guide — like a guidance counselor. It’s like if a kid pantsed another kid at a football game. He’s reported and he’s expelled from school. But he just thought it was a joke, no big deal, he doesn’t understand why he’s in trouble.

So the guidance counselor maybe gives him example of why his actions weren’t quite right. Then the kid gets it. He has understanding, realizes what he did was wrong, even if he didn’t intend anything bad by it. He can apologize and get back into his classes. If he doesn’t get the understanding, and he’s let back into class, he may do the same thing again or something worse. But with the understanding he’s able to move on. In spiritual terms, it’s the same thing. We can’t get to the next level without gaining the understanding of the level we’re on. Once we do, we’re given a new chance, a new mission that we can set off on with an improved attitude.

Is it hard for you to visit historic sites? In spite of the fact that it’s always a very emotional experience for me, I do enjoy visiting these kinds of places and hearing the stories there. At the Alamo, even just walking in the dirt around the fort was a very moving experience. You can feel the horses, the men, smell and taste the very blood. I don’t think you need to be psychic to experience this — it’s so strong.

When I visited the Ann Frank Museum in Amsterdam the souls surrounding that place were completely overwhelming to me. Actually, I could feel the souls throughout the old part of the city. Amsterdam is breathtakingly beautiful. Walking in the streets, along the canal, in the very stones of the buildings, they all hold the vibrations of the history that has taken place there, you can feel the energy. Apart from the beauty, I, and others, I’m sure, can’t escape the energy of all the souls still lingering there. Both the innocent and the evil. Those who were killed and those who killed.
When I do a reading, I am emotionally removed and uninvolved. But this is a very different experience for me. I do get very emotional. At the Ann Frank house, I was just crying and crying. A woman said to me, “Are you all right? Did you lose your family?” This is the downside of being a medium, I guess, this extreme sensitivity to others and what happens to them. I just have such extreme empathy. But this is not just something that I can feel. So many feel drawn to places like this. Our souls are drawn to connect with these stories.

And if you’re wondering whether I heard from Ann Frank while at the house, the answer is no, she’s not there. The spirit who was Ann Frank is a Master and would not be held in limbo in that way, attached to a place. She had a mission and a purpose in that lifetime and she accomplished that. Her life was brief, but what she accomplished was so powerful that it continues to resonate to this day. She has moved on.

Do all places in which humans have lived hold vibrations? Anything we have touched will retain some energy. Old things, old places naturally have more, and by “old places” I mean places where people have been for a long time, or where events with a lot of intensity have taken place, where a lot of human emotion was spent, so to speak. Joy, awe, sadness, horror. You can tell the difference between the energy in an old home and the energy in a brand new, just built suburban development home. The new home has no emotional patina, far less energy than a place that has been around for years and has had “history” made within it. Also, old objects, especially ones that have been handled a lot will have this energy. Clothes that have been worn will have this. Judy Garland’s ruby slippers are in the Smithsonian Institute now, but just imagine if you could get them out of that glass case and touch them. What if you could step into them! If I was a size 5, that would be totally awesome!

Can the dead talk with each other? Yes, definitely. Not talk, exactly, language is irrelevant. They communicate by thought, telepathically. Thought is universal. If you are thinking, “I’m hungry,” that thought is the same no matter what language you speak. Over there, spirits talk in heavenly IM.

Does everybody know everybody else there? Do we communicate with spirits we never knew on earth?Oh yes. Bear in mind that on the Other Side we may have grandparents or other ancestors who we never even met on earth, who crossed before we were born so we only knew them in spirit, and now we are meeting them in spirit again. There are also souls with whom we have no family or friend connection but even these we will “know” instinctually and would relate to and communicate with as another human being (albeit in spirit form). 

The best way I can explain this is, think about if aliens came and colonized the earth. We’d recognize and relate to other humans, as opposed to the aliens, as fellow earthlings. We may not know them personally, but we think of them as “like us,” and if we wanted to ask directions from someone it’s more likely we’d ask another earthling than an alien. We’d just feel more comfortable. Over there, everyone is “like us.”

Do the dead still retain their five senses? No. Our five senses are “of the body,” and of course the dead are “of the spirit.” They can’t smell or taste anything, but they don’t eat anything any more so it’s really not like a loss, it’s no big deal. They can’t feel anything themselves, but they can touch us. It’s not a physical touch, like with a finger. It’s energy, so it feels like a small electric shock — not strong enough to hurt anyone, but enough to startle you.

How do the dead get around?It’s pretty much instantaneous in terms of travel time. It’s as quick as thought. In fact, it is thought. They simply change their thoughts to another place or person, and there they are — right where they want to be. The psychic autobahn!

What do the dead wear? Nothing. It’s like trying to put clothes on the invisible man. You can’t do it. Sometimes they will appear to me in clothing, just so they will be recognizable to the person receiving a reading — for instance, it’s very common for someone to show me a uniform of some kind, whether it’s for a particular job or the military, or maybe I hear (but don’t actually see) that this person was a real snappy dresser. But for the most part they are commando. They are an energy form. They are like a shadow. And shadows don’t like to be burdened by Prada or Louis Vuitton purses. Anyone can tell that I’m not dead yet. I have never met an accessory I did not like! Bring on the bling! Gimme the bangles, baubles and beads — and while you’re at it, the Chanel sunglasses! Then help me hide the credit card bills from my husband.

Do the dead appear in color?Not to me. No color, no size, no shape. Only on rare occasions when they are trying to give me a cue as to their identity that I can pass along to someone I’m doing a reading for. But even then, it’s more a mist or haze.

Do the dead have emotions?They can tell what we might be feeling at the moment. They feel total joy and complete forgiveness. There is no room for anger, sadness, or fear on the Other Side. I can only relate it to when something so amazing happens to you and you are overcome with so much happiness that you forget everything that had been bothering you. You are simply beyond any type of negativity. Your mother-in-law cannot faze you. Your boss cannot make you mad. You are too happy for that. That level of happiness and joy is what They are constantly experiencing. They don’t sit around thinking, “Oh, she is so annoying,” or, “Geez, I can’t stand him.” They don’t have time for all of that. Annoyances and angers are not acknowledged. They choose joy and love and forgiveness — even when it comes to mother-in-laws (or so I am told).

Excerpted from "Do Dead People Watch Us Shower? And Other Questions You've Been All But Dying to Ask a Medium." Copyright (c) 2007 by Concetta Bertoldi. Reprinted with permission from HarperCollins. Read more from "Do Dead People Watch Us Shower?"

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